You’ve probably heard of BDSM — the umbrella term for kinks that often include punishment, humiliation, and pain.

BDSM can be a lot of fun, but what if praise and positivity are more your style?

That’s exactly what a praise kink is — a category of kink where giving or receiving compliments, admiration, or positive affirmations turns you on. 

Understanding praise kinks

Praise kink. Worship kink. “Good girl” kink. What you call it isn’t important. What matters is how it makes you feel. 

For a clearer definition, praise kinks are for men, women, and people of every gender and sexuality who get off on positive reinforcement and praise. This sexual interest isn’t just about being showered with sweet nothings or hearing an ego-boosting “You're hot.” A praise kink turns the art of complimenting into full-blown foreplay. Instead of accepting a compliment and moving on, positive praise turns you on and leaves you itching for more.

Kinks versus fetishes

People sometimes use the words “kink” and “fetish” interchangeably. But unlike kinks, which make sex more pleasurable without being something either partner requires to achieve orgasm, someone with a true fetish is usually unable to get sexually aroused unless their turn-on is present. If compliments make you horny but aren’t a requirement for sexual arousal, you have a praise kink, not a fetish. 

What’s so great about praise kinks?

A blend of psychological, emotional, and social elements makes this kink more than just a little verbal flattery. Here are some reasons people in the know are jumping on the praise train.

Psychological gratification

Praise kinks tap into humans’ deep-seated need for approval and affirmation. When someone acknowledges your strengths, skills, or just how irresistible you are, it boosts your self-esteem and floods the brain with those sweet, sweet dopamine hits. It's not just about feeling good in the moment — it's about feeling seen and validated in a meaningful way.

Power dynamics

Praise kinks do share one key trait with BDSM: They both involve power play. But where a degradation kink might include phrases like, “You’re a dirty little slut,” a praise kink involves more positive language, even if the words reinforce dominant and submissive roles (saying things like “That’s a good girl,” for example). 

Whether you're lavishing praise or soaking it up, it’s a subtle yet spicy exchange of control. The giver holds the power to uplift and affirm, while the receiver revels in attention and admiration. It's a dance of dominance and submission — but with a softer, more positive spin. And expressing and accepting admiration can be surprisingly empowering.

Escape from reality

It’s easy to feel that the “real world” is full of negative messages and unrealistic standards, so finding a space where positivity is the main attraction is like a breath of fresh air. Praise kinks offer an escape from the critical noise. This type of turn-on also rejects the idea that kinks are always about negativity or taboo practices, shining a light on a more uplifting and affirming form of sexual expression.

Praise kinks versus compliments: 4 differences 

Compliments aren’t uncommon in the bedroom. So what sets a praise kink apart from that “You’re so sexy” comment everyone loves to hear?

1. Praise triggers arousal

The main differentiator? The tingle factor. Ordinary compliments might boost your confidence or make you smile, but praise kinks crank it up a notch. They light up your pleasure centers, adding a layer of arousal that transforms words into a form of intimate play.

2. Praise takes center stage

Compliments aren’t uncommon in most intimate relationships. But for praise practitioners, affirmations become an integral part of the intimate connection. Like a verbal caress, they deepen the bond between partners, adding a layer of emotional intimacy that acts as a key pleasure ingredient.

3. The praise is more creative and intense

Praise within a kink context tends to have more oomph. It's not just about saying, "You’re beautiful." It's about delivering affirmations with an intensity that resonates on a deeper, more visceral level.

4. The praise is detailed and specific

One of the main things that sets kink-worthy praise apart from a run-of-the-mill compliment is that kinky praise isn’t generic. Instead, the compliments are often meticulously tailored to the individual, focusing on unique attributes or actions that hold special meaning within the relationship. This personalization elevates a compliment from mere words to a powerful tool.

Exploring praise kinks with your partner

Before making praise a focal point of your playtime, discuss your boundaries and desires openly. Communication is the cornerstone of any kink, so start with a conversation. There could be specific phrasing you love to hear, or you might be ready to open the floor for whatever your partner comes up with. Just make it clear from the start to avoid a record-scratch moment if someone says something unexpected.

Praise also doesn’t have to be the only kink you explore. We already mentioned the emphasis on power dynamics that a praise kink shares with BDSM, and that means praise is fairly easy to work into a traditional dominant/submissive relationship. You could also pair it with bondage, edging, or even a DDLG dynamic.

How to think of praise kink phrases

Looking for things to say to someone with a praise kink? Here’s some inspiration to get you started. But remember: You’ll want to tailor your compliments to your partner so they know you mean what you say. “You’re pretty,” is one thing, but, “I love the way your brown eyes glow in the moonlight,” is way stronger (although a little extra).

Positive reinforcement

Do you love what your partner is doing in bed? Give them some positive reinforcement, which will make them feel good while letting them know what you like.

Try saying things like:

• “You make me melt when you take control.”

• “The way you move your tongue drives me wild.”

• “No one makes me cum like you.”

• “You feel incredible.”

• “You’re doing such a good job.”

Physical compliments

Is your partner hot? Tell them! Your compliments don’t have to focus on their looks — there are lots of ways to say you love someone’s body, like:

• “You taste amazing. I can’t get enough.”

• “You have the best curves. Our bodies fit perfectly together.”

• “Kissing your soft lips feels so good.”

• “Your eyes are so hypnotic.”

• “I can’t stop thinking about your body.”

Personality compliments

When you have sex, you create an intimate bond with their body and mind. Think about what you love about their personality and how to verbalize it in a way they’ll enjoy:

• “The way you think is so captivating.”

• “Your confidence is such a turn-on.”

• “You’re so good at everything you do.”

• “Your intelligence is so sexy.”

Feed your praise kink with Quinn

You don’t need a sexual partner to soak up the praise. You can take your compliments solo with Quinn, the audio erotica app created by women for the world. If you’re interested in dirty talk, soft doms, or praise and degradation, the wide range of erotic content on Quinn is a great place to start.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided masturbation sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.