Think about the tasks that make up your weekly routine: grocery shopping, replacing the toilet paper, mopping the kitchen floor.

If having sex with your partner(s) falls somewhere between folding laundry and rolling the recycling to the curb, it’s safe to assume you’re operating on autopilot in the bedroom — sex has become just another household chore. 

Don’t panic if this rings true for you. Being bored in bed doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. There are tons of accessible ways to spice up your sex life, and role-playing is just one of them.

Ready to make things feel fresh again? We’ve compiled a how-to guide to get you started, complete with a list of role-play ideas that will make even the oldest relationship feel new. 

What is sexual role-play?

Sexual role-play is an erotic game of pretend where partners adopt different personas or characters to act out a particular sex scenario. 

This playful practice serves two valuable purposes: It rekindles the sexual tension that may have faded over the course of a long-term relationship and provides a safe, supportive space for partners to explore a naughty (sometimes even taboo) sexual fantasy without judgment. Whether you take inspiration from movies, porn, or the people you encounter in your everyday life, role-playing revs up the imagination, offering a much-needed break from routine.

No relationship? No problem. Plenty of people who prefer casual encounters indulge in role-play, particularly within the consensual power exchanges common in BDSM. It’s not just for couples looking for spice. Anyone can enjoy role-play, but it does require lots of communication and consent, so it might be best not to try it on a first date.

How to role-play without sacrificing safety

Some of the most thrilling role-play scenarios involve an element of danger, but don’t start any games you can’t immediately call off the second either partner feels uncomfortable or unsafe. Want to play the role of a firefighter rescuing a distressed damsel from a burning building? Instead of setting your house on fire for real, find creative ways to simulate smoke, like a few incense sticks or an essential oil diffuser.

Here are a few more tips for safely practicing role-play:

Establish a safe word

Take a cue from the BDSM community and determine a word or phrase that either of you can say when you need to bring things to an immediate halt. Opt for a word that you’d be unlikely to call out while in the throes of ecstasy — something like “kangaroo” or “galoshes.” It should be so out of left field that your partner will know exactly what you mean when it leaves your lips.

Be open and honest

Share your wildest fantasies, and don’t judge your partner when they share theirs. Work together to establish clear boundaries, and don’t sign up for any scenario that makes you squirm. Consent is crucial to every sexual activity, but verbal consent and conversation are especially important when domination and submission are involved.

Respect your props

Do you fantasize about being bound with rope in the path of an oncoming train? You’ll have no problem finding bondage toys to make your dream a reality. But don’t let the word “toy” undersell some of these tools’ impacts. Learn how to use your props safely, and create an exit strategy you can employ the instant your partner shouts “Kangaroo!” like untying them or immediately putting down the flogger.

Practice aftercare 

We always recommend sexual aftercare, but role-play ideas for adults can be pretty intense. After the scene, spend time reconnecting with your partner (as yourselves, not your role-play personas). Talk about your feelings, engage in some post-coital cuddles or massage, and discuss what worked and what you could improve for next time.

Get in character: 13 sexual role-play ideas to try

Role-play allows you to tap into your playfully creative side. Use the ideas below as a starting point to create a fun list of your own. Just remember that, while you can start your role-playing game in a public place, it’s never okay to expose unconsenting bystanders to nudity or overtly sexual behavior. Keep it in the bedroom (or living room, or kitchen, or whatever private space you desire).

1. Executive x assistant 

The power dynamic between boss and subordinate would make for a toxic sexual or romantic relationship in real life. But imaginary office tension is perfect for a dominant/submissive role-play scene. Let Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader show you how it’s done in “Secretary,” a fun erotic romance movie with major BDSM vibes.

2. Housewife x handyman

She’s sprung a leak, and he has the tools to fix it. But when the job winds up being bigger than anticipated, he just may need to lay some pipe.

3. Masseuse x massage client

Are certain body parts feeling a little too stiff? Break out the calming music, candles, and sensual oils, then let the sexy massage therapist work out the kinks.

4. Perfect strangers

You don’t have to cheat to relive the thrill of hooking up with a one-night stand. Book a hotel room, then show up solo to the bar downstairs. Let your eyes meet from across the room like it’s the first time, then deliver your best pick-up line. You’ll be fighting the urge to rip each other’s clothes off in the elevator on the way to bed.

5. Pilot x flight attendant

Do you fantasize about joining the mile-high club? Invite the flight attendant into your cockpit and show them what tricks you can do with your joystick.

6. Patient x nurse

If realism is what you’re after, throw on some scrubs and a stethoscope and get to work. But if you want to ramp up the sex appeal, a skimpy nurse costume is your best bet. Lie the patient out on a makeshift exam table, and in your sultriest voice, say, “Show me where it hurts.”

7. Interrogator x suspect

Are you a good cop or a bad cop? There’s only one way to find out. Handcuff your troublemaker to a chair and seduce them with a crime and punishment lesson so intense they won’t be able to resist becoming a repeat offender.

8. Shopper x courier

Ding-dong! The delivery person has a package for you — but this box may require a little special handling.

9. DILF/MILF x nanny

The nanny keeps the kids in line during the day. Now their hot, hard-working single parent needs a little looking after.

10. Professor x pupil

Teacher and student is a textbook role-play scenario (between consenting adults, of course). Pull on your tallest knee-high socks and drop into office hours for a one-on-one lesson in physical chemistry.

11. Aristocrat x French maid

Does this wealthy homeowner have some cobwebs between the legs? Cosplay a sexy maid with a fun French accent and show them what your feather duster can do.

12. Stripper x client

What’s sexier than the sexiest lingerie? Pulling it off piece by piece in a seductive striptease. If you really want to drive your partner wild, tie them to a chair and give them a lap dance that they’ll relive again and again in their dreams.

13. Prince Charming x Cinderella

Line up a selection of shoes in different sizes and let your partner test them on your tootsies to tickle their foot-fetish fancy. Pretending you’re a shopper and salesperson in the shoe section of an upscale department store is another good role-playing game for foot lovers.

Find new stories to bring to life

Looking for even more kinky role-play ideas? Ethical porn and erotic fiction are great places to turn for sexy storytelling. That’s why we made Quinn, the audio erotica app created by women, for the world. If you’re interested in doctor fantasies, dirty talk, or hot period pieces, the wide range of erotic content on Quinn is a great place to start.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided masturbation sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.