If you have a little money to burn, you can easily fill your drawers with sex toys — from vibrating panties to waterproof vibrators that target the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously.

But you don’t need luxury toys to make yourself feel good. And you don’t have to wear your hand out going at it the old-fashioned way. With a few trusty household objects and a little imagination, something as simple as a detachable showerhead can be a surprisingly effective way to achieve orgasm.

Before you rush off to the hardware store to raise the eyebrows of the guy in the plumbing section, we’ve got one more even lower-tech suggestion: the humble pillow.

Grab your coziest cushion and get to class. It’s time to learn how to hump a pillow. 

Pillow humping 101

Pillow humping, also known as pillow grinding or dry humping, is the act of rubbing your genitalia against a pillow for sexual pleasure. It’s a form of masturbation that people of every gender can enjoy. Some even discover dry humping as their first sexual experience — before they even know why it feels so good.

What does it mean to dry hump? 

Usually, dry humping involves rubbing your penis or vulva on something just firm enough to provide a little friction. 

Whether you’re using a pillow, blanket, or another person’s body, learning how to dry hump tends to come pretty naturally to most people. It’s as easy as listening to your body’s cues. 

If the name throws you off, just think of it this way: Anal sex, oral sex, and intercourse all involve the exchange of bodily fluids. With dry humping, the only wetness you’ll feel is your own.

What kind of pillows are best for humping?

Sex pillows exist (and we love them!). From wedges to bondage pillows to bolsters fitted with strategically sized holes, you’ll find no shortage of cushions specifically designed to support certain sex positions and activities.

But we promised pillow humping wouldn’t require any special purchases, and we meant it. If you find that this type of masturbation really hits the spot, you may want to invest in a dedicated sex pillow, but the one you sleep on does just fine. Or the lumbar pillow on your desk chair. Just choose a pillow that’s yours and yours alone, because things could get messy.

Why do people hump pillows?

People hump all sorts of objects for all sorts of reasons. Here are some of the most common:

• Self-exploration: Humping a pillow helps you discover what feels good sexually. You learn things about your body and preferences in a private, controlled space, which gives you free rein to experiment.

• Stress relief and relaxation: Many sexual activities trigger the release of endorphins, reducing stress and promoting relaxation. Pillow humping is no exception.

• Safety: If you’re not ready for intercourse or don’t have a partner, pillow humping is a safe, low-stakes alternative to sex — no condom required.

How to prepare for pillow humping

Ready to try grinding on a pillow? These tips will make the experience the best it can be:

1. Create a comfortable space

We’re not just talking about a cushy bed or nap-worthy couch. Privacy is a crucial part of comfort. Unless you’re practicing mutual masturbation or indulging your partner in a voyeurism kink, choose a comfortable spot where no one can see or accidentally walk in. Then, lock the door.

2. Choose the right pillow

While dry humping doesn’t require a specialty cushion, some pillows are better suited for this practice than others. Test out the ones you have on hand to find the size and firmness that feels best.

3. Dress for the occasion

Comfort really is key. Wear something you can easily move around in, like pajamas, loungewear, or even lingerie. If you know you’re not at risk of being discovered, feel free to strip down to your underwear or pillow hump in the nude — whatever helps you move freely.

4. Set realistic expectations

Sexual pleasure is a highly personal experience. What feels amazing to one person might do nothing for you, and you may need to experiment to find the rhythms and positions that really get you going. Don’t expect a mind-blowing orgasm right out of the gate, but being patient and open to trying new techniques eventually leads to success.

5. Practice relaxation techniques

Masturbation is a fantastic way to reduce stress. But if you’re starting the process after a particularly trying day, you might need a minute to put your head in the right place. Try deep breathing or meditation to relax your body and mind so you can fully surrender to your pillow partner. Audio erotica also does the trick.

The best positions for pillow humping

As with most things masturbation, the best pillow-humping position is the one that turns you on the most. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Missionary: This position is a classic for sex — and for pillow humping. Lie on your belly with a pillow between your legs and move your hips to create friction. Gravity puts extra pressure on the area for a more intense experience.

• Cowgirl: Cowgirl is a classic position and a favorite for pillow humpers. Straddle the cushion like you’re riding a horse and rock your pelvis back and forth. This option gives you the most control.

• Sideways spoon: Lie on your side and spoon the pillow like you’re spooning a partner to create a comfortable, intimate experience.

• Knee pillow hump: Place the pillow between your legs while standing or lying down. Use one knee to hold it in place and press your thighs together for added pressure.

3 pillow humping tips

Want to elevate the experience even further? These tips will make you a pro-level humper in no time:

1. Listen to erotica

Mental stimulation plays a major role in masturbation. And audio erotica is perfect for pillow humping because you’ll probably move around too much to keep your eyes focused on visual porn. Cue up a sexy story, an audio about your hottest sexual fantasy, or a guided masturbation session to take your arousal to the next level.

2. Try different pillows and covers 

The texture, size, and firmness of your cushion affect the sensations. Something feather-filled will feel very different from gel, microbeads, or memory foam. A body pillow works well for some people, but you might find you prefer the size and firmness of a decorative throw pillow. You may enjoy the smoothness of satin, the softness of velvet, or the rough sensation of canvas for the cover. Play with different options to see what feels best.

3. Pair a pillow with sex toys

Tucking a vibrator inside your pillow really ramps up the clitoral stimulation for people with vaginas. If you have a penis, try wearing a masturbation sleeve while pillow grinding. And for people of every gender, wearing a vibrating butt plug during pillow time is a great way to make your orgasm even stronger. Anything goes.

Quinn: Your source for the hottest audio erotica

Remember what we mentioned about the power of audio erotica? That’s why we made Quinn, the audio erotica app created by women, for the world. If you’re interested in sexy storytelling, masturbation noises, or sensory play, the wide range of erotic content on Quinn is a great place to start.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.